On this Date in 1945...

...World War II: Fuhrerbunker: Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day. Soviet soldiers raise the Victory Banner over the Reichstag building.  Officially marking the worst honeymoon in history.

On this Date in 1429...

...Joan of Arc arrives to relieve the Siege of Orleans.  Apparently, they really had to pee.

On this Date in 1192...

...assassination of Conrad of Montferrat (Conrad I), King of Jerusalem, in Tyre, two days after his title to the throne is confirmed by election. The killing is carried out by Hashshashin.  His modus operandi was to force the king to say his name five times fast, which induced a stroke and a heart attack at same time, ultimately killing the king.

On this Date in 1509...

...Pope Julius II places the Italian state of Venice under interdict.  Though, how he was able to create his own gravity well is still a mystery.

On this Date in 1937...

...Spanish Civil War: Guernica (or Gernika) in Basque, Spain is bombed by German Luftwaffe.  Shouts of "Hey, we're Neutral!" apparently had no effect.

On this Date in 1607...

...Eighty Years' War: The Dutch fleet destroys the anchored Spanish fleet at Gibraltar.  The Spanish were distracted by the fact that the Dutch sailed huge windmills into the straight, thus the Spanish were easily defeated.

On this Date in 1990...

...Gruinard Island, Scotland, is officially declared free of the anthrax disease after 48 years of quarantine.  Though upon garnering a reaction from residents the official response was: "What, we were under quarantine?"

On this Date in 1942...

...World War II: In retaliation for the Royal Air Force bombing of Lübeck several weeks prior, the Luftwaffe began a series of bombing raids in England, starting with Exeter.  Though, it appeared as though they would be going way over budget on the operation since someone in the planning committee accidentally chose the small town in California instead of the one in England.

On this Date in 1529...

...Treaty of Saragossa divides the eastern hemisphere between Spain and Portugal along a line 297.5 leagues or 17° east of the Moluccas.  Great Britain looks on in amusement.

On this Date in 1945...

...World War II: Soviet Union forces south of Berlin at Zossen attack the German High Command headquarters.  Which was very easy to see considering its altitude.

On this Date in 1526...

...the last ruler of the Lodi Dynasty, Ibrahim Lodi was defeated and killed by Babur in the First Battle of Panipat.  And to this day it is still impossible to find it on a map of California.

On this Date in 1012...

...after refusing to allow himself to be ransomed for his freedom by his Viking captors, Alphege was beaten to death by a mob in Greenwich, now a suburb of London, the first Archbishop of Canterbury to die a violent death.  Then he was shot out of a cannon.  Either that or he was canonized, one of the two.

On this Date in 1947...

...in one of the largest non-nuclear single explosive detonations in history, the Royal Navy set off 6,800 tonnes of surplus ammunition in an unsuccessful attempt to destroy the island of Heligoland, Germany.  The head demolitions expert was overheard saying, "Huh, you woulda thought that should've worked."  To which his subordinate responded, "It's a friggin island, man.  Not a house."

On this Date in 1907...

...the Ellis Island immigration center processes 11,747 people, more than on any other day.  It also marked the day that the most people with the last names Smith, Anderson, and Jones immigrated to the country as well.

On this Date in 1944...

...Allied forces started bombing of Belgrade,killing about 1,100 people. This bombing fell on the Orthodox Christian Easter.  Why no-one saw fit to move it is still a mystery.

On this Date in 1817...

...Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet and Laurent Clerc founded the American School for the Deaf, the first American school for deaf students, in Hartford, Connecticut.  I SAID THE FIRST AMERICAN SCHOOL FOR DEAF STUDENTS, IN HARTFORD...Oh nevermind.

On this Date in 2002...

...Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returns to office two days after being ousted and arrested by the country's military.  Upon arriving at his office he said, "Well, hi there!  Anybody miss me?"

On this Date in 1987...

...Portugal and the People's Republic of China sign an agreement in which Macau would be returned to China in 1999.  Thus began the 12 year dilemma to find a RMA kit big enough to return a colony.

On this Date in 467...

...Anthemius was proclaimed Western Roman Emperor at the third or twelfth mile from Rome.  Give or take 9 or 54 miles.

On this Date in 1990...

...customs officers in Middlesbrough, United Kingdom, say they have seized what they believe to be the barrel of a massive gun on a ship bound for Iraq.  They later discover that it was just a large sewer pipe.

On this Date in 1971...

...Ping Pong Diplomacy: In an attempt to thaw relations with the United States, the People's Republic of China hosts the U.S. table tennis team for a weeklong visit.  Many Chinese were amazed at the skill of one of the members of the team, Forrest Gump.

On this Date in 1945...

...World War II: The German pocket battleship Admiral Scheer is sunk.  To be fair, though, it was a rather small battleship.

On this Date in 1904...

...Longacre Square in Midtown Manhattan is renamed Times Square after The New York Times.  Also, because no-one liked saying Longacre.

On this Date in 1927...

...first distance public television broadcast (from Washington, D.C. to New York City, displaying the image of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover).  Though, many did not think it was working at first as all they could see was a big white blob.

On this Date in 1973...

...the American League of Major League Baseball begins using the designated hitter.  Though, due to the logistical nightmare of having one guy play in every game, for every team, of the year they decided to include a designated hitter for each team.  Things went much smoother after that.

On this Date in 1722...

...Dutch explorer Jakob Roggeveen became the first European to land on Easter Island.  He was rather disappointed, however, when he discovered there were no multi-colored eggs anywhere on the island.  He was certain there would be some behind the guys with the big stone heads.

On this Date in 1850...

...The Great Fire of Cottenham, a large part of the Cambridgeshire village (England) is burnt to the ground under suspicious circumstances.  Chicago mentions that maybe they should check out the cows of a certain Irish woman, who have been known to start such things.

On this Date in 1973...

...the first portable cell phone call is made in New York, New York, United States.  The call was short-lived, however, as AT&T had horrible coverage in that part of New York.

On this Date in 1962...

...the first official Panda crossing is opened outside Waterloo station, London.  Some, however, wonder at the practicality of it since there are so few pandas in London.

On this Date in 1865...

...American Civil War: Battle of Five Forks – In Siege of Petersburg, Confederate General Robert E. Lee begins his final offensive.  The battle was short lived, however, as there were only so many times the forks could be thrown before they were completely worn out.